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What have I gotten myself into??

2003-09-28 @ 2:03 a.m.

The date with Michael last night went well. We had a yummy Greek dinner, went back to his place and I worked on his computer and had a 2 1/2 hour massage which was very nice and of course since he does the main type of massage for chronic pain, I have to say, I'm a bit sore today but, of course got an awesome massage to boot. Now, of course, I mentioned in my previous entry about the few things that bother me and so I thought it was just to impress me or that he was nervous around me. Well, guess what...that isn't the case.

The things that bother me, well, for one, the good thing is that he is confidant about himself, although, his ego is a bit high. Never have I had someone ask me so many questions about the other guys that I have been with, or if I have had anyone bigger than him (yes we did have sex, the sex is very good by the way) and it's not just a question asked once but, millions of times. It's like come on, I'm not going to tell you about the guys that I have been with, that's my business, if I want to say something then I will. He asks me things that are soooo deep and personal that I have to flat out say, "I don't want to tell you". And of course, he's a sex fiend, not that that is a bad thing cuz it isn't, my sex drive is just as high, but, not 24/7!!! And of course the questions asked are so repetitive. He doesn't smoke, which is fine, I have no problems with that at all, and I do have the respect to not smoke around someone so much when they are not a smoker. He says he has asthma, which I do too. But, when we went to his house, gawd, the dust EVERYWHERE and so thick!!! It's no wonder his asthma acts up, because mine did too. When we went to dinner, they had a smoking and non-smoking section, granted I would sit in non-smoking only because he doesn't smoke, but, he didn't even bother to ask if I wanted to us to sit in the smoking since I smoke. When ordering dinner, that's fine if he wants to order for me, but, ask me first because I have a tendency to change my mind the last minute of what I want to eat. He mentioned some things about how big my breasts were very loudly in the restaurant, he knew I didn't like that and apologized for saying it so loud. And he is constantly saying "you know what I mean?" or "you understand what I'm saying?", "do you know what I am trying to say?" And he keeps telling me that he knows what I am thinking and honestly, no he doesn't. His driving scares the hell out of me. I'm a fast driver, and I've rode in vehicles where someone is a wild driver and never scares me, it's hard to scare me, but, oh gawd, his driving literally scared the hell out of me, and the road rage that he constantly has!!! It really freaked me out! Seriously!! He tells me he doesn't want me to ever wear heels again because it's bad for my feet! Hello!!! If I want to wear heels, I will. I'm uncomfortable eating around him because he looks to see what I am eating and how much, whether a little or a lot, I get this look of horror because there may be like one little thing in there or two that he wouldn't eat and he has a problem with it. Oh, and when I worked on his computer, he tells me that I'm so smart, he's never met anyone that is so smart with the computer, it may be a compliment, but, you just had to hear the way it was said! Then I'm telling him the things that he needs to do with the computer, and he kept asking me if I know how to do it and if I'm sure...and this was when I was telling him that he needs to get some can air to clean the inside from all the dust...ugh..and he couldn't change the light out of a ceiling fan, I had to show him how. And his laugh, and the way he looks when he does laugh, makes me want to shoot myself in my head! Yes folks, it's horrible...not really bad horrible, but, horrible enough. Although, he does have a nice body, the sex is great minus all the questions, and he's very affectionate...but, I'm learning some things about him that I didn't expect, some things that bother me. He is a slobbery kisser, I had to flat out tell him, NO SLOBBERING PLEASE!!! and that it's one of my peaves...he may as well spit a lugy on me all over my face because that's how it feels like--YUCK!!! I don't like sloppy kissers where half my face, my whole neck and some of my hair is slobbering wet...that's so gross!!!

I don't know how much longer I can take this...there's more, but, you get the gest of it. Granted the sex is great...but, hmmm, I don't know. I did ask him (Kevin wanted to know and so did I) what was the longest relationship he has ever been in...and he says 6 months! I can understand why! Kevin says, give him 5 dates, gives me enough time to do my "evaluation", so, I'm going to do that, I don't know if I can make the full 5 dates, but, it's worth a shot I guess. It's already been two, I have three more to go. But, honestly, the verdict is already in. Unless he does a complete change who knows.

I am a person that is not judgemental and very open, and believe in giving people chances. Now, I'm not judging him on anything of who he is or what he's like, it's just that these things bother me, really bother me. Like I said earlier, if he is just trying to impress me or is nervous I can understand, but, if he is ALWAYS like this, I can't deal with it. I had to pretty much chase him out this morning. He's a wonderful person, but, I honestly think that there is no way that I can deal...but, we'll see how it is after date number 5.

Well, it's almost 3 am and I'm sure you're all tired of hearing me rant so, I'm gonna head to bed.

Blessed Be!!