2003-08-03 @ 9:22 p.m.
Anyway, been thinking about things with the deal with Kyle, I know, I'm thinking too much into all of this, but, seriously, I'm at a stump. I just feel like a game is being played and I'm really not liking it at all. I'm not quite sure at what to do with everything that is happening. Rue was suggesting that I should wait it out and see what happens. And I really want to but, then part of me just wants to say the hell with it. It's not like we were together for an extremely long time like Paul and I. Sometimes, I just feel safer not being in a relationship with anyone. Less heartache to deal with I guess. I feel more at ease not having all the stress of a relationship. But, yet, still feel lonely at times. I guess I really don't know what I am going to do about all of this. Part of me wants to just say the hell with it and part of me wants to wait it out and see. Who knows. I'm almost to the point of who cares...but, the thing is, I do care! I guess only time will tell, right?
Well, tomorrow is another Monday...blah! Once I walk into the door at work it's time to put on my professional life. Funny thing is, I never thought that I would ever find myself working in the corporate world and for the state. But, I do, I like it, of course there are times that I don't. Unfortunatly, I will have to face my wonderful (yeah right) particular co-worker and apologize for being a bit rude. Although, I shouldn't have to apologize, but, I will just to be nice and because I did promise Kevin that I would be nice to her on a professional level. So, I better at least be nice and apologize. I don't think I wrote anything about what happened Friday at work, but, it was enough to piss me off, and I kinda flew off the handle with her. I'll probably write about it tomorrow because right now, my jaw is hurting and I just took some pain killers and it's about to knock my filipino butt down! LOL!
But, anyway, I am just blabbing away this evening and I must come to a close.
Blessed Be!!
