Possibilities....who knows... 2003-07-23 @ 5:07 p.m.
Well, as you can see, I was a bit upset and hurt in my last entry. And a bit bitter, but, now that I had the whole day to think about everything, and then going back and reading my last entry, it's so obvious that I was/am upset.Kyle is a very very good guy...I do like him so very much...we chatted some today, apologizing to each other and all. I hope that some day he and I can give it a shot again. We did talk about "someday", so, we'll see.
I understand that he needs to get things taken care of, and I completly understand. I don't have any hard feelings for him for it all because all in all, it's not his fault. He didn't ask for all this heartache and all these problems with his x. No one asks for the problems that they have in their lives, unfortunatly we all have them.
I do care for Kyle very much. All day today I just felt numb in the pit of my stomach, my whole body, I couldn't even think straight at work today. I cried myself to sleep last night not knowing what to think about the whole thing. If I'm feeling this way, how is he feeling with everything on his shoulders? And I thought about him all day today, I just couldn't get him off my mind today. I hate the fact that we have to go thru all of this, but, life goes the way that it is supposed to no matter what we do.
Kyle, if you read this, and I know that you do off and on...please know that my last entry, and I know that you will understand that I was upset and I apologize about some of the things that was said. I blurted what came to mind. Please don't feel rotten about all of this and what it has done to us, it will all be fine in the end. And like I said earlier, I'm strong and I'll be alright so don't worry about me, ok? If it was meant to be for us then it will if not, then at least we will know. Only time will tell. Soooo...Akuna Matata...LOL. Just continue to think positive and do the best that you can because that is all that you can do, that any of us can do. You know that I will be thinking about you and missing you and I know that you will be thinking about and missing me as well, and that is all that we have for now, and it's something that we will have to deal with for now. It will all work itself out in the end.I feel so horrible about everything that's been going on...things were going so great with us...and then poof...gone...***sigh***
This just sux ass...it really does. All I could do was think about you all day and wishing that I could just make all this mess go away for you so that you can be happy. You told me Saturday that I made you happy, and you know what, you did for me too. Now I just feel miserable...it's like losing your best friend... :o( I hope that someday we can give this a shot again under better circumstances. I really do. But, please remember, don't ever ever let anyone tell you different because you are a wonderful person, you truly are. With plenty of room for happiness in your life. No matter what!!!!
Just remain strong and always think positive. Just because you can't see or talk to me doesn't mean that you can't think about me, and I the same about you. But, like I said, you are always welcome to e-mail and call anytime you want...k? I'm always here if you need a friend to talk to.
Gotta get back to work. Hope to see you soon.-Someday... :o(
So everyone...we'll see how things go. I have to go now, I'm still feeling ill to my stomach...if it continues by tomorrow evening, I will so have to call the dr. UGH!!!!
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