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Out of It...

2004-07-11 @ 3:14 p.m.

Today I just feel kind of ďout of itĒ and depressed, have been all weekend. I donít know why. Well, thatís a lie, I do know why. And itís probably because Iím thinking too much on things. I donít want to go into detail but I feel like Iíve been lied to and I hate that.

Went out Friday night with Jenn, Jamie and Steph and it was fun. But the rest of the weekend Iíve just been crying.

I mean I know that it is one of the side affects of having my hysterectomy is getting these crying spells and thatís probably all it is. But I also find myself a bit upset about a few things. Like I said, I donít want to go into detail but Iím just a bit irritated by it all.

Even though I got things straightened out with some things I still feel like Iím running in circles on a few things and not sure how to ďfixĒ it. Itís probably something that doesnít need to be fixed and that Iím just thinking too much and just need to let things flow. I keep reminding myself that life will go the way itís supposed to. But sometimes, itís easier said than done.

I donít know, maybe with my mom not talking to me still is catching up to me who knows. But my parents will be going to Texas next month driving there and they will be stopping here for the night while passing through and then on their way back they will be stopping again. So Mom has to talk to me when they get here. Although she did tell my dad not to tell me when they will be here and that I will know when they call me when they get here. But Dad has already told me and I took August 13th off even though they wonít be here until the 14th and so Dan took the 14th and 15th off to meet and spend some time with my parents with me. Weíre about to take the next step of our relationship further with the meeting of the parents. I havenít met his yet but they live here so I am able to meet them anytime. With my parents living out of state, thatís a different story. When I found out that my parents will be passing through I asked Dan, ďare you ready to meet my parents? If not thatís coolĒ and he said that he is. Heís even talking about getting a gift for my parents as well. Iím hoping that this will go well and that my mom will not embarrass me. Especially since she has not been speaking to me for almost 3 months now. **Sigh**

Well, since I got all my things done yesterday I have today to just chill and so that is what Iím going to go and do. Blessed Be!!!

Much Love~