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2004-05-06 @ 2:56 p.m.

So far today has been a good day. Just pretty much busy working away. Although I feel that I donít want to be here today, Iím just pretty tired today. I did not want to get up this morning. Dan was practically pushing me out of bed because he knows that I need to get up to avoid being late to work. He knows that I AM NOT a morning person, I never have been and probably never will be, but Iím trying.

YAY!!! My favorite song is playing right now! Sorry about that. Lol.

Well Terri, one of the girls in my department is leaving after Tuesday for 2 weeks, her and her fiancťí for so many years are finally going to tie the knot in Las Vegas. Iím so happy for her. The only reason they waited for so long is because she was married twice and they didnít work out and she was afraid that a marriage might ruin things. But, last October Tim got really sick and was in ICU up until a week before New Yearís and that is when she realized sheís ready and that she isnít scared anymore. She loves him with all her heart and wants to spend the rest of their lives together.

I was married for 10 years to my high school sweetheart who I was with for a total of 15 years and common law married to Paul for a brief 6 months yet together for 3 years. And I understand where Terri is coming from of being scared after 2 marriages. But, I honestly feel that Iím ready to take that step of getting married again. But it has to be to the right person; with a person that I know it will be forever. I donít want to go through another divorce. Iíve never believed in divorce and thatís why I stayed married for so long or else I would have left Sean a year after we were married because I was unhappy. But because of my beliefs I stayed. To me Paul wasnít a real marriage at least thatís how I looked at it and I know that he did too. I did at first but then he got mad at me and so I just said, ďscrew itĒ and didnít think twice about it. To me a marriage is when two people truly love each other and stick to their vows to each other, the vows are sacred. Yet I also feel the same about a relationship when you are with someone itís sacred. I donít believe in cheating. Although everyone is guilty of it at least once in their lifetime but obviously something in the relationship has caused the cheating to happen. And thatís what happened to my marriage, to both of them actually I was cheated on as well as verbally and physically abused. But through all that I still didnít cheat.

I will never cheat on Dan and I know that he wonít on me. His beliefs are the same as mine and thatís great! So, with my relationship with Dan I donít have to worry about it and I can trust him, I do trust him. And I know that he trusts me too. He treats me good and I him and with an open communication, honesty and being faithful to each other it just makes us so perfect together. And as I said before, it gets better each passing day.

Anyway, someday I would love to get married again and make it my last and final marriage with someone Iím willing to spend the rest of my life with and he spend willing to spend the rest of his life with me. Simple as that.

Anyway, I should get back to work and get things done so that I can go home and take a power nap before I have to work at the bowling alley tonight. I canít wait till my body is used to working more than one job again. Blessed Be!

Much Love~