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2003-09-06 @ 9:25 p.m.

As the day begins I feel a loneliness deep inside me that cannot be filled. My heart seems incomplete and empty. Once I was filled with joy and love now only grief and sorrow. The reason for the pain is immaterial. Whether it be from the loss of a loved one or a divorce or worse, it is for me and me alone to know. Only my heart knows the reason.

I can walk through a crowd and be alone. No one seems to know my emotions or even care. They smile and look but with empty faces ... perhaps they are lonely too.

What is this loneliness? Is it forever or can it be filled? Will the pain go away or must I bear this burden forever? I search for the answer to no avail. I am trapped in a world of nothingness with no direction or purpose. Where do I go to seek serenity? Is there such a place? Who has the answers?

Even though I am lonely my wish is to be alone, away from everyone and everything. I choose to walk in the forest where it is peaceful and quiet and no one else will venture. It is at this point reality seeps into my heart and truths are revealed to me.