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2004-02-26 @ 11:14 p.m.

Well, my first day of a new birth year for me and well, it was frustrating as hell. LOL

I took yesterday my birthday off from work, first time I've ever done that and figured hey, first time for everything. Anyway, my whole week was messed up to begin with of course. With having surgery on Monday so I only worked 1/2 day, went to work Tuesday, and as stated in my previous entry, no one helped out. And guess what, I was gone yesterday, and I made sure that I had someone doing my work for me, and well, NO ONE did it. Here's the gist of it...on a normal basis my average of claims I go through weekly is about 450 (10% of the volume entered for the week), and well, there was 400 for this week and guess what...NO HELP!!! And these need to be done by Fridays and this doesn't include my other duties of 400 a week of our resolution claims that I go through that usually takes me 2-3 hours to complete. Well, today I go home and my mind is just exhausted!!! I did my 400 claims which usually takes up most of my week with my other duties in between, and well, I did them all except for maybe 50 that someone else did today (they finally decided to help) all in one day!! So, tomorrow, I'll have my reso to do and can jump into my state reports that I have to do and report to the state on Monday and jump right into next weeks work which is 538 for next week.

Now, since our supervisors keep moving around till we get a position filled we have a different supervisor again and now they've set up for meetings for us on a daily basis on top of our regular meetings that I have to attend. Which will now take time away from my work. ugh!!!

But, I have to say today just wore my brain out. I'm drained.

And the AVS game that I went to the other night, well, we lost. I was hoping that it would go into overtime when no one had scored, well that changed in the last 6 minutes of the game. I wasn't too happy with my boys that night. And for some odd reason, the game just wasn't the same going without Paul. He and I used to always go to the games or watch them together and we ALWAYS have such a blast when we go. It just wasn't the same without him. **sigh**

Well anyway, tomorrow I go in to get an ultrasound on my heart (Echo Cardiogram). Since my cousin passed away in November who was 25 years old, it was discussed in the family that all us "kids" get checked just to make sure that we don't have what is hereditary in our family of dying so young for no reason. So, that will be my adventure tomorrow after work.

My dad flies home from Florida tomorrow. My grandparents are now both cremated (well grandma was already) and they were put into one urn together and buried in our family plot yesterday. What a birthday present, my grandparents getting buried. But, I understand that we are at the age where we are going to start losing the eldest family members. But, it's still difficult to deal with.

I renewed my lease for my condo yesterday. I've decided to stay here in the complex rather than move. I have so much crap for one person it ain't even funny. ish...

I've had so much on my mind lately it's just crazy. There's just so much stuff that's been irritating me lately or bothering me, depending on the situation at hand and well, it's just one of those things that I'm trying to figure out how I can deal with it in a better way, just haven't figured it out yet, but, I'm sure that I will. Who knows, maybe it will improve, but at the looks of it right now, I don't really think so, it hasn't yet, sooo, what's going to make it improve now? I know confusing since I won't say what it is...but, I think this has become one thing that is best left unsaid to anyone, including my parents. It's just funny how sometimes people think I'm stupid or something and think that they pull things over my eyes thinking that I won't figure anything out. But, little do people know me very well that just because I don't say anything and express that I'm aware of these things around me that I don't know what's up. I'm pretty damn good at knowing if something is up whether someone tells me flat out or not. I can tell when I get lied to, etc. There's so much that I know that I just don't say what I know to avoid so much drama. I don't think my mother or anyone would understand that, yet mom just may considering she is the same way.

Well, it's late, and I better hit the sack. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. This weekend I will go on the hunt for some fish for my tank as well as getting a massage on Saturday with the gift certificate that Jenn gave me for my birthday for an hour of Swedish massage from an extraordinary hottie from what I hear. YUM!! heehee. And then of course I have bowling Saturday night as well.

Blessed Be!!

Much Love,