Wednesday, Oct. 03, 2007 @ 2:06 p.m.
First off I want to say congrats on your marriage, pregnancy and new ownership and move. That�s great.
Second, the things that you say are not true. Friends tell each other everything whether it�s drama or issues in their lives, happiness in their lives, etc. You didn�t make an effort of contacting me even just to talk. I tried contacting you so many times, I�ve asked you if you wanted to hang out, but you were always busy. Granted, yes I know what it�s like to have a child in your life and how hectic it can be, I had a step child too remember. But I still made time for my friends even if it was just a simple phone call to say hello.
The day that you returned the Christmas present back to me that I got for you hurt me deeply and I honestly think that is where things changed. I didn�t call for a while because I was deeply hurt by that. And I also came to realize that what things became more important to you and I didn�t fit in that category because I didn�t have it. And that what is most important to you isn�t important to me. You became materialistic and it was all about money. To me that isn�t important in my life. Yea, it�s nice but it doesn�t make a person happy, to some it does and I saw how it did to you but never mentioned a word to you because I didn�t want to hurt your feelings. But because I didn�t fit in that category I wasn�t good enough to be your friend anymore. And that hurt deeply as well.
No one�s life is perfect and it never will be. As I read your entry you can tell that you don�t even know that you are happy to a point. In so many words you question yourself of the possibility of being happy. But that is you and not me. I�m sad that you have become materialistic and that what make you happy are money and my apologies for not having those same ideas of being materialistic and one that money makes a person happy. I was there once with someone that wanted to provide everything for me do you remember? It was all about money for him, it didn�t make me happy. Once upon a time I thought never having to worry about money would be nice until I was in that situation and realized it doesn�t make me happy. You could have become a homeless bum on the street but you know what, I would have still been your friend, still listened to you. I never would have judged you or erase you from being my friend. I�m not like that I don�t desert my friends and you know that.
Maybe it�s because we are two different cultures, I don�t know. I know what poverty is like, I know what it�s like to be homeless and I know what it�s like to lose things in your life that you never had and things in life that I have had then lost. I know what true friendship is but walking away from your friends for no reason or because they want to be your friend I don�t know how to do that but I do know now how it feels because it has been done to me�.now.
I�m not sure where you think I have lied to you but you haven�t been innocent either or truthful. To me or yourself. But I still stood by you. I accept my friends for who they are, even for their faults, we all have faults, and no one is perfect. But I guess you became judgmental and walked away because I have faults. No one is perfect, not even you. If everyone was perfect or everyone was the same this would be a boring world. Not once have I ever held my nose up so high acting as though I was better than you but you have always done that to me and it has hurt deeply but I never said anything why? Because I knew you, you were my friend and I accepted you and loved you for who you are. Sadly you couldn�t do the same.
I�ve been where you�re going right now the only difference, I didn�t walk away from my friends for no reason and it�s sad that you had to do that and hurt someone that loved you and accepted you for who you are. We grew up and learned about people and raised differently and yes, friends happen for a reason, and when you needed someone to be there to talk to I was there for you but times you never let me in, and I understood, but did you ever understand why it was difficult for me to let people near me? I don�t think so because the things you have gone through in your life and things that happened in mine could never compare to each other.
Yes, my life is better, awesome job, many friends that I love dearly and a wonderful man that loves me for me faults and all. The only true thing that I am still hurt by and have been for awhile was losing a good friend of mine that couldn�t come to me and tell me why. Since the day you returned my Christmas present to me a couple years ago, that�s when I knew you changed. Not so much of you growing up but discovering something that you think will make you happy the rest of your life, of things in life that I see that a person doesn�t have to have to be happy. In time you will realize like I did in time that money and materialistic things isn�t what makes a person happy all the time. I hope these things make you happy and keep you happy for the rest of your life Jennifer. Good luck to you.
