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Life and Faded Memories

2004-09-17 @ 2:55 p.m.

This sucks!!! My boys arenít going to play this year!! (Colorado Avalanche) Iíll have to see what Joe Sakic thinks about all this..well, I canít but Dan can! Heís one of Joeís friends and hopefully one of mine eventually. :o) Iím pretty bummed that the AVS will not be playing this year. Itís bad enough that I canít bowl this year because of the injuries to my back from the car accident.

I have to say that I am so happy that itís the weekend. I just need the time to chill. I havenít had the time to do that with so much going on with the accident and all and going to Montana unexpectedly and just trying to take care of so much stuff. Next week will be busy again having to go to the DMV, meeting with my lawyer and going in to see the hand surgeon to discuss the surgeries that I have to get on my arms. I wonder how much this is going to keep me back from doing anything. Then having to meet with back specialists and physical therapy. Itís just crazy!!!

Iím also going to be selling my Pontiac, no worries Jenn, Iíll be pulling out the cd player for you that I said that I will be giving youÖ.Iíll be taking care of that this weekend. Dan and I will be putting the taillight on my car this weekend as well. Oh, I guess I never did say in here what happened with that.

The day I got back from Montana I went to go get Dan from work (mind you I had just got back into town with the new car) and while waiting for him I had to run into the store to go use the bathroom, well when I got back to my car as I was getting in I heard a LOUD crack noise and my car shook. Well on the other side a little boy about 7 years old opened his car door so fast that the corner hit my taillight and busted a hole in it. His mom wasnít too happy about it, we gave each other our numbers I found the taillight and I met up with her the next day for the money to replace the taillight and well it came in Monday and so Dan and I will be putting it in this weekend.

Yesterday I decided to get rid of the touch lamps that Paul gave me, one more thing to let go and say good-bye to Paul. Anyway, I put it on the free cycle pages yesterday and damn!!!! I had responses not even 2 minutes after I put it in there. It was gone in a matter of minutes; the lady came and picked them up last night. They will be going in her daughterís room. At least they are going to good use. At least now I know how quickly things go on there. Jenn and I were a bit surprised, not shocked just surprised. Dan was surprised and glad too. Iím glad too, they didnít blend in my room very well, and in all honesty, I donít need things around the house that reminds me of Paul. Yes I know Paul was a big part of my life and once upon a time we had a good thing, unfortunately a good thing that really didnít last very long and was going downhill from the beginning.

Deep down I just always knew that he wasnít the one for me, we are/were so different from each other. We really didnít have much in common and were never on the same page with each other. The whole time we were together I guess you could say that I was in denial. I never realized that before until I met Dan.

Dan is everything that I want in someone, someone that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. We are so much alike yet different. Heís my Yin and Iím his Yang. We balance and I have to say that being in a balanced relationship with someone is a very wonderful feeling. My parents loved him and mom told me ďI know heís the one for youĒ and she has extremely good intuitions about people. When she met Paul she knew he wasnít the one for me and she told me right away I just never told Paul. And the best part too, my best friend Jenn and my boyfriend Dan GET ALONG!!! Paul and Jenn NEVER got along! They were so different from each other and I was stuck in the middle that was so stressful. As Dan says, Paul is an ass for all the things that have happened. And I have to agree with him.

Dan means more to me than Paul ever did. Mainly because Dan knows how to treat a person, that was one major flaw that Paul always had, he didnít know how to treat people especially those that cared so much about him. To a point I canít blame him but itís not an excuse either. People can change and Paul never knew how to change or either that he didnít want too, who knowsÖ.I donít and I probably never will.

It feels good knowing that I no longer feel the broken heart that Paul gave me. Dan has healed my heart and Iíve healed my heart taking my time. I donít think much about him anymore. I still think about Holleigh and always will but not Paul. He has just become a memory now. Paul has become a faded memory.

Well, I better go, itís time to get off work now and enjoy the weekend. Blessed Be!~

Much Love ~