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Paul, Holleigh, me and sleep...

2003-05-19 @ 10:26 p.m.

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that Paul, Holleigh and I were a family again and that we were all happy. I don't know how we got back together or when but, we did. It was a happy scene. I don't know if it is because I miss them or if they both are thinking about me or if I'm finally letting go. I was a bit confused when I woke this morning, yet was in a very good mood. What does this mean? I do love and miss both of them dearly but, ugh, I don't know. Am I really missing them so very much? Is my heart feeling lonely or is it healing? Is it my subcouncious telling me something that I am not understanding? Or were they both just thinking about me?

The thing with my dreams...when I dream of something that I'm either concerned about but not really thinking about it or something that is out of the ordinary, well, not really out of the ordinary, but, more of about someone or something that happens, never fails, a couple days later, something happens.

For instance, a couple of weeks ago or so, I had a dream about tornados, two of them to be exact, and I thought nothing of it, well, a couple days later, we had snow here and another state was hit by a couple of tornados. Things like this happen to me all the time. Call it a gift, but, sometimes it scares me because there are times that I am not understanding what is going on. Ugh...

Anyway, on to other things. I leave on Wednesday to visit my parents for a week, taking a nice long drive to Montana. It will be nice to have all that time driving and figuring out a lot of things that has been going on in my life. Driving always helps me think and a road trip is just what I need. And it will be comforting to be around my parents for a few days. Just to chill and relax and hopefully relieve some of this stress if not all that I have been having for the last few months. And hopefully get a good nights sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I think I know what may have been causing me to toss and turn and have problems sleeping at night. I have my bedroom window covered so that it is dark in my room, I like to sleep in a room that is very dark, and so, well, at night, I leave my lava lamp on all night so that my bird has a night light. Well, I haven't been closing my door for months now when I go to bed considering that I usually close the door, and well, the light from my lava adds light to my room as well, and on a normal basis, I can't fall asleep when the light is on, and with the lava shining in my room as well....hmmm...gee figure the math...LOL. So, since last Thursday when it popped in my head about it, I closed my door to see if I will fall asleep....sure enough, I did. I know, call me a dork, but, I can't sleep with the light on, and I have to have my window open or my AC going, becausse when I'm hot, I can't sleep. ***sigh***

Well, I need to get to sleep...

Good night and Blessed Be...!

~Victorianna~


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