~Victorianna�s_World~ . . . v. ~M e r r y M e e t

Corporate World
2003-09-10 @ 11:57 p.m.

So, yesterday at work, hell boiled over with the "particular person" and it was a mess. Kevin was out of the office Monday and yesterday and so, with "particular person" being rude to another manager when he asked to get something done and she made our department look bad, I took the initiative to apologize on behalf of our department since Kevin was out to this manager as well as his manager in regards to the events that occured. Well, apparently, instead of management looking at my apology as a thoughtful gesture and consideration for the apology after the events occured they just looked at it as it was not my place to say. Hmmmm...whatever happened to loyal employees (as myself) stating to management that we are taking the initiative to accept that things were handled incorrectly even though the main apology was basically showing that I apologized for one person's actions yet our whole department took the blame and admitted the wrong doing of one person??? Apparently, "it's the thought that counts" and "accepting responsibility" does not apply here. Gee, where's the open mind?

I really hate when there are those that are so closed minded that they don't look at the whole picture in hand that our manager was out and at least we showed as adults to accept the blame and apologize. Instead, they just looked at it as "it wasn't my place to say" well gee, I was only being kind. I didn't have to say anything at all, nothing at all, but, at that time with the situation at hand, it was the adult and right thing to do. Ugh, the joys of the corporate world.

You know, I really love the company that I work for...I love my position-WHEN I WAS IN THE OTHER OFFICE AND WORKING CORPORATE LEVEL! It's no wonder it's hard to keep people on within the contracts. Don't get me wrong, the managers in this office are great...just they look at things as errors or point out the wrong doings, they don't care when someone is being considerate and taking that step of going forward and accepting responsibilty and was considerate enough to just say hey, we're sorry. Ugh...

Makes me want to just sit back and just hide in my cube and not deal with anyone or care about the things going on that affects us individually in our group and just be another regular employee and just look at this office as a job to make ends meet rather than looking forward to this company as my career. There are A LOT of people in this office that is just there for the money and not really care about the job itself, and there are very few of us (myself included) that actually cares about the job and enjoys working for the company and is willing to accept the challenges that come to hand. But, it's the damn corporate world...I've seen A LOT of stuff within this company when I was at corporate level before they did the big reorg, and you would be surprised if you saw things that I have seen where a lot of people have been fired for things that I see everyday in this office. But, in that aspect, I don't say anything, I can't say anything because I am not corporate anymore, I'm on a contract. So, I keep my mouth shut and nod my head at what I see and hear.

Kevin and I are pretty open with each other about a lot of things that go on at work, and very good at not letting others know what we discuss because it is just better that way and plus it's nice when a manager and an employee can actually have trust with each other to discuss things about the job when we want to get ideas on how to handle things or resolve situations or just to get things off your shoulders yet don't want certain people to know or anyone. I guess I'm saying it's nice to have each other as a sounding board, the two heads are better than one to come up with ideas or solutions. But, there is so so so much that I don't tell him. And that's only because I'm not sure if I should. Not that I don't trust him because I do. It's just sometimes I can come out sounding things the wrong way where people don't get my drift, but, mainly because I'm not sure if I should or not. I see so much going on in that office, and having the experience of working on corporate level, and knowing how the company works and knowing how to handle certain situations, he may not look at it that way and might make me feel like I'm dumb or something or that my ideas and thoughts suck or something. It's just really hard to explain. And I'm not just talking within our department, it's a lot of things that I see and hear in different departments as well. So, I just keep them to myself and I don't tell anyone in the office at all. Not even Kevin.

At this point, I honestly don't know what to think about everything. This is why I hate working in a large office and with lots of women around, too much damn office politics...causes more stress than the job itself. My job doesn't stress me out, it's the shit that goes on. But, I guess there's nothing that I can do. I don't have the same authority that I had when I was in the other office.

From now on, I'm just going to hide in my cube and do my best to block everything out, get my job done and go home day after day.

I know my entry may sound confusing and all, but, I just needed to get out things today that have been rambling in my mind all day. After today, my outlook on a lot of things have changed about this office. I so very much miss my position on corporate level...I need to work my way back there, I don't care where, but somewhere within this company off the contract and back in the corporate office. But, I know it will take some time unless I decide to move out of state. I guess we'll see because like I said, after today, this office looks very different in my eyes...and how I feel...

Night babes....

Blessed Be!!

~V~