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2003-12-01 @ 7:48 p.m.

ugh!!! I just wrote an entry and lost it. Damn, anything else going to go wrong!?!?!?!

Today was my grandmother's funeral and all I could do was just cry all day off and on and I really lost it when I came home. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. And then Matt pissing me off and hurting my feelings today, my leg gave out when I got off the bus today and twisted the hell out of my ankle. Having financial issues and then I just got done typing a long entry and it's gone. ugh, ugh, ugh!!!

I can't handle all of this crap anymore. I so just want to move back home and start all over again, but, that will just be going back wards. I keep telling myself "stay strong, don't fail, stay strong, don't fail", but, I feel like I'm failing. I feel like I'm always failing at anything that I do and its getting old. Whenever things start to look up, something has to happen. It's getting old!

I wish that I could move somewhere cheaper to live. I just can't afford it here anymore. If I had a roommate it would be different, but, I don't. And I'm running out of ideas of what to do. I feel like I'm losing it. ugh!

I know, I know, I sound like a pity party....sorry about that. But, that's what diaries are for, right? To let out everything, to let go, to do something.

Well, I'll quit being so's depressing to me.


Blessed Be!!