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2004-03-30 @ 3:16 p.m.

My evening was great last night. I wasn’t expecting to see Dan because he still wasn’t feeling well because he had some procedures done. But, he called last night and I picked him up. He was still a bit out of it, but, I took care of him and he didn’t want to be alone. We cuddled and relaxed and I made sure that he got some sleep since he wasn’t doing too well. After he got some sleep on the couch lying on my lap, we crawled into bed and talked, giggled, etc. We talked about the island that we want to get of our own if we ever win the lottery and discussed our little java shop that we want to have together and my Filipino restaurant. The kind of house that we want which will be hovering off the ground by the way which would be really cool. We won’t need a car then…lol. We just talked about everything that we want together. It was a wonderful conversation.

And of course, I had a wonderful wake up call! It’s so nice that he’s a morning person, because I’m not and I always have the hardest time getting up, I mean, I’ve been late to work everyday in the last 3 weeks except for today. I have been up since 4:30 this morning, was able to get up, exercise, make some coffee, have a cigarette, and take my time taking a shower, brought Dan home, went to the train station and made it to work on time with time to spare. It’s just been a wonderful morning! Everyone was shocked when I walked in this morning and was jokingly saying “OMG! A miracle just happened!!” it was funny…had to be there I guess.

Well, last night long before I picked up Dan, Patrick came online last night and we talked. I told him about Dan, and he’s so happy for me. I told him that I can’t wait for him to come back (to move back to CO), and he said that he probably might never come back here to live. And that he understands and tells me “Be open with him on everything, if he’s the one you’ll have a wonderful life together. I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I miss you dearly but you know the situation.” I just about started crying. And I know that he was hurt too but he knows we can’t wait for each other forever. That’s what is so great about Patrick, he has always been understanding and he and I both know that we will always and forever be the best of friends. We know we have something there deep down for each other, but, we also know that forces beyond our own, we can’t be together, and we don’t know if we’ll ever get to be together again. He asked how Dan and I met and was so encouraging and hoping that things work out with Dan and I.

Now that I have shut the door of Paul in my heart and opened up a new one for Dan, I have also released the “waiting period” of Patrick but, that I think I’ve done that long time ago and I think it is why it was so easy to tell him about Dan. I’ve also released my heartbreak that Paul gave me and ready to move forward with Dan. I refuse to let it hold me back on anything with Dan.

Kevin was teasing me today and said that he will be attending my wedding here in about 6 months, 9 months max. He is seriously insistent that Dan and I will marry…I just looked at him and said…”ok, we’ll see” heehee. Kevin is so goofy. A lot can happen between now and then.

I guess I should mention, the name of our island would be Zanzibar, the Isle of Zanzibar owned by D & M. Nice ring to it, huh? How we came up with that name, I have no clue, it sounded good I guess. Actually Dan came up with the name. Our house will be on the beach hovering over the sand. Hovering on a thing like from back to the Future the hover board that they had on there, except this will be the size of the whole house.

When Dan came over last night Kitty laid on his lap and just so cuddled with him, she missed him so much. She always gives him loves when he is over and cuddles with him when we sleep at night. Of course, he’s in her spot too. Lol. Then of course, my dear sweetie Dan, he saw me driving down the road when I went to get him, and he noticed that I washed my car (he hadn’t seen her clean since we’ve met) and he said that he was telling himself, “Oh look, here comes my car!” I looked at him when he said this, and I’m like, “your car?” He said it was worth a shot. Told him, the day that he helps me pay for the car payments and insurance then he can say it’s his too, but, till then, she’s my girl. Hehe

Dan is just too adorable. My baby shaved his goatee but he’s still as adorable as anything.

Much Love~