2003-03-29 @ 1:17 a.m.
Other than that, didn't really do much today, did some errands and took a nap. Major migrain today, ugh!! I thought about driving to Montana to visit my parents, but, I can't, I have my last night for the season in bowling tomorrow.
I just feel like my life has been so "dull" lately, I don't know if it is because I have been off work for almost 3 weeks now, thank goodness I go back to work on Monday. It's going to be so nice being back to work...although the rat race of a drive is going to be a bitch...but, oh well...what can I do?
Well, I spoke to SK today **sigh**, he was so frustrated with work today and said that he was happy that I called and spoke to him, that it made his day...well, I have to admit, it made mine too. :-) Haven't heard from PG, and I have a feeling that I won't...but, who knows, he's so unpredictable sometimes. But, I know right now he is under so much stress with his mother passing away about a week ago. Poor thing...I just wish that he would quit pushing me away. GRRRR....but, hopefully he'll come around when he's ready to talk about it. I know that he is going to need a friend. I may have shut the door on our history together, but, I did promise him that I would always be there for him, even as a friend. And I'm not one to break promises unless it's absolutly necessary.
It's 1:30 am and another sleepless night, it's no wonder I've been getting migrains..but, shit, when I'm sitting here at the computer and I start to get really tired, I go to bed, then I just lay there, tossing and turning...ugh...I wish I could figure out why I am having so much damn trouble sleeping. I know that I have been under so much stress, but, a lot of it has calmed down now and still...no sleep!!! I hardly ever eat anymore, and when I do it's just one meal...or nothing at all...very rarely I eat three meals a day.
I know some of my stress is the fact that I am trying to get things back on track, it's just a matter of figuring out where to start. One of my phylosophies is to let things go with the flow, and I do...just sometimes it's hard too. I sometimes hate the fact that there are some things that I can't control in my life, and I hate that. Never fails, once I have things under control something has to happen to just throw some things if not all into a loop. What a pain in my ass!!! Thank goodness things are slowly getting back on course. Of course, doesn't help that I can be such a worry-wart..thanks mom! LOL..she's the same way...I have to say though, thank goodness I'm not remotely as bad as her. She kinda takes everything WAAAAY out of proportion, I don't know how many times I have had to get her to calm down, and seeing that helps me learn what NOT to do. hehe...
Anyway, now I think I'm blabbing away, so, I think I'm going to try and get some sleep...YAY, sleep in day tomorrow.
Well, sleep tight everyone...
Blessed Be!!
~Victorianna~
When you walk the road of life,
Remember people, and
Remember that they will remember you
And all that you do and say.
People are intelligent,
It is up to us to be and
Act intelligent as we can.
~Victorianna 1996~
