2004-05-25 @ 1:34 p.m.
I guess it�s just because I�ve been under so much stress lately. I�ve been trying to play catch up and it�s not going as planned, it seems that lately everything and anything that can go wrong is going wrong. But I�m doing my best to hold my head up as high as possible. And lately it hasn�t been easy but I am trying and that�s all that I can do.
There are still a lot of things on my mind that I need to work out but it�s not my main priority right now. I think once I get the things taken care of that needs to be taken care of right now then things will calm down. But, for now, I still need to work out this stuff. Ugh!
I just really feel alone with all of this crap going on. It�s always like this. I really think that I need to move into something cheaper. But, I don�t want to break my lease and I�m wondering if that is going to happen. I wish I had a roommate yet it�s nice living by myself. Ugh. I do have to say though, after this ordeal I�ve learned quite a bit of things that need to change. It has opened my eyes quite a bit, that�s for sure.
And then dealing with these guys here in my department at work just irritates me. Dan says to just tell the to fuck off. Which I�m pretty damn tempted to. Matt and Amy were on the train at the same time that I was yesterday and of course not sitting near me yet we all can see each other. I�m talking to Dan on my cell and I look over since they can�t tell that I was looking because I had my shades on and sometimes I�m good at reading lips and they were over there talking away about me. It pissed me off some and that�s when Dan said to just tell them to fuck off�but you know, they aren�t worth my breath to even say the words to them. They aren�t worth my time. Pretty said don�t you think when they are in the same department as I am. There have been changes that now all of QC sits in one area, except for myself. I�m in a little corner cube without any of my fellow QC people near me. They don�t talk to me or say hi or anything. It�s like all of a sudden they are better than me. Oh well. Oh, there is one thing they do do to me, they glare at me with dirty looks and act all snobby. Nice huh? Oh well, at least I get my work done. All they do is chat away. Their asses not mine, right?
To change the subject, I have noticed a lot lately that my carpal tunnel in both hands has really been acting up horribly. I�ve been feeling the numbness and tingling in both of my hands and the soreness on my right wrist. The tingling has been in my pinky and ring finger on both hands and moving up my arm. It�s just crazy ya know. I guess I�m getting old�lol. Of course I refuse to think that I am, I�m such a kid at heart, unfortunately I don�t have the energy of a kid anymore though.
Well, at the moment I am a bit worried. Dan was supposed to be at work at noon and hasn�t got to work yet today and I haven�t spoken to him since early last evening and was supposed to talk to him late last night but never did. I hope that everything is all right. I�m sure that I�ll hear from him here real soon.
Well, I guess I should get going and get some work done. I have a short week this week since I took Friday off except for the first 3 hours of my shift. I come to work for 3 hours then I�m on vacation until Tuesday. So, I better get my stuff done. God knows no one else around here would help do my work like I do for them. Blessed Be!!!
Much Love~
~V~
