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True Friendships and those Friendships Disowned

2004-09-14 @ 11:22 a.m.

Friendship is such a funny thingÖ.there are so many types of friendships in this world and sometimes people donít realize how different we all are.

But yet again, there are those that stand out from the crowd and a lot of us put up with it and try not to hurt their feelings yet it gets to the point that sometimes hurting feelings is the only way for them to understand. And thatís a shitty way to do it but sometimes you just have to do it, ya know. Let me explain the few differences that I have found, some of it found just recently as of yesterday.

Thereís the type of friendship where you can just tell each other ANYTHING and they TOTALLY understand you and can be upfront and honest with you on anything because you are so close to each other that you can even call each other a bitch, snatch or whatever and still laugh at each other and with each other. You can laugh together at serious matters and feel each otherís feelings of hurt and happiness and ALWAYS be there for each other, always help each other out without even saying anything at all. Making sure youíre both safe in everything you do, traveling etc and always be the first to call each other up just to say ďhey, itís all-good I made it okĒ and even call each other first with any big, or sad news and be there for each other. Always know what each other is thinking and about to say before itís even said. You can just say one word to each other and already know the whole story and you donít even have to explain. And youíve got each otherís back no matter whatÖ.this is the kind of friendship that Jenn and I have. Jenn and I have been through so much together starting the day we met, our friendship has had its trial and errors but no matter what Jenn and I have ALWAYS been there for each other through thick and thin through anything you can imagine. And SHE KNOWS me more than anyone, emotionally, physically, financially, everything. Sheís my best friend and no one can ever take her placeÖJenn is a very special personÖand unique of course weíre both unique yet weíre so much alike in a way that makes us understand each other no matter what life throws at us weíre always there for each other and always will be.

Then thereís the type that thinks they know you and in all honesty they donít. Those have a tendency of putting guilt trips on you and not realize it. Now I donít know if itís that they donít realize it or if itís the fact that they do realize it and yet in denial to admit it. One that doesnít think before they speak, one that itís difficult to hold a conversation with. Iíve tried having a conversation with this person on numerous occasions yet for some reason when she speaks the subject she starts talking about has ABSOLUTLY nothing to do with the subject that is being discussed at that time. But I have always been kind enough to not say anything; Iím just not one to hurt otherís feelings. I think before I speak, I hate hurting someoneís feelings, and the only time it happens is if it gets to the point that I have no choice. But this person has said things to me on occasion in the past that has either been hurtful or offensive and I donít say anything I let it slide. Iím a pretty easy going and open minded person, but when someone says something to me that they donít know what itís like to be in that type of condition or have been there or seen the actions etc in regards to their comment then youíve hit a button with me. I mean she only wants to hang out when she needs help with something and then when unforeseen things happened and I explained, I did the courtesy of calling, explaining, etc yet she gives me all these guilt trips and comments that were uncalled for and canít even understand what Iím trying to say even understands what she said herself, though she says that she does, etc which in turn ticked me off ÖI stated my case of how I felt about it of her guilt trips and all and I get a comment that really ticked me off that had ABSOLUTLY nothing to do with the conversation and brings up about my medication for my depressionÖwhen in all actuality I have not had any problems whatsoever and everyone that knows me agrees. Yet she perceived to bring this up. Now let me remind you, this girl is 23 years old, has never really experienced much of life yet nor understands what types of depression is out there and how each one is different and how it affects people differently. Those that hear the word depression (that have never experienced or been there during their trials of the depression) thinks of it as ďjustĒ depression as a one type deal, which is not the caseÖand for someone that doesnít understand or have never seen what mine does to me if I am having problems have NO RIGHT to sit there and say ďFurthermore, I would consider getting your prescription upped because you have some serious issues!!!Ē Like I said for one it had nothing to do with the subject to begin with, and for someone that doesnít know me well doesnít deserve to say something like that to me, yadda yadda yaddaÖ And from what I have seen, she seriously needs to get help emotionally. And Iím sorry but I donít know if she is just playing stupid or doesnít understand how she makes herself seem stupid, wait, let me rephrase that because stupid is pretty harsh, I would say more dumb. Iím not saying this to be mean just wondering if she even realizes the things that she says and does, Iíve noticed this for a very long time now but never said anything because I didnít want to hurt her feelings and thought that maybe it was an occasional thing but Iíve noticed itís just how she is. If itís being done on purpose or not I donít know. But anyway, to make this long story short, Jamie has sadly to say has accomplished me to disown her as a friend. I donít like to be used and I donít appreciate the constant guilt trips and well, the medication comment topped it off. Donít say something to someone that you donít know a thing about with that person in regards to something that affects their life in general. I have found this to be a person that doesnít realize that they use their friends. And I donít appreciate that and so now Iím moving on. This has become a friendship that did not last because she couldnít handle that I speak my mind and when my feelings are hurt or offended I WILL speak my mind.

Then of course you have your significant other that will always and forever be your best friend through thick and thin, through the hard times and the good. As Dan says, the hard times is what makes our relationship stronger, and working through anything and everything that crosses our path together is what makes us one. And that I have with Dan.

Dan and Jenn will always and forever be my best friends and no one will ever replace them, they have always been there for me and I have always been there for them and thatís how it will always be.

I normally do not disown my friends, but Jamie just hit the spot where sheís pissed me off so horribly with a comment that she had no right to say and was not and never will be her place to say. The only people that have the right to say something like that to me would be Dan, Jenn and my family. Anyone else that either doesnít know me well enough or donít understand the circumstances has no right to say something like that to me.

Now, my main question...why is it that I am having "serious issues" when I speak my mind stating that I don't appreciate guilt trips??? And that I was offended by the "meds" comment...? hmmm...I'm still confused about that one. Is there a problem that I speak my mind? I mean, I've put up with A LOT of guilt trips in my life from my mother that I've grown to not appreciate it and know it when I hear it, but I think it's the fact that Jamie couldn't handle the fact that I am very blunt and outspoken and will say what is on my mind when needed. Oh well, such is life, right? Shit happens and we move on!

A note for Jamie because I know that you are probably reading this, what you said to me would be in the same lines about if I would say anything about your mother, and that is something that I would never ever do because itís not my place. Your motherís handicap and my depression fits in the same lines as a life issue, and not ever in my mind would I say something so horrible to you about your motherís handicap because like mine itís hurtful and offending and itís something beyond our control. So my advice, think before you speak.

Blessed Be!!

Much Love~

~V~


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